And I Will Always…

I woke up this morning in Nigeria to the news of the untimely passing of Whitney Houston.  The night had been troubled and feverish leading to a slow morning made more surreal by unbelievable news delivered by text and Blackberry Messenger.

Of course it wasn’t true.  I wasn’t even going to hunt down the news.  No.  There were more electronic messages and then the harbinger of social media.  Finally, I could not ignore my friend’s voicemail about how upset she was.  It became inescapably true.  Whitney Houston was dead.

When Michael died we were blindsided.  I was in denial for hours awaiting confirmation.  With this news of Whitney, it was irrevocable.   The passing had been confirmed for hours.  I had nothing to face but the truth that this woman who was everything when I was growing was gone.  Suddenly, unceremoniously. Gone.

What bubbled up in me was not sorrow, though.  It was a quiet, humming rage that got louder as I read the missives on social media.  That rage grew to deafening thudding of my heart in my ears.

Why all this now?  Where were we when she was alive?  What difference does our outpouring make now that she is gone to us?  How dare you comment about her “wasted” talent?  How could you look at her legacy of astounding achievement and twist your finger to type “waste”?  Was she not potential realized?  Did she not burn bright only to come down and be among us, human?

The rage has long simmered down, making way for speechless sorrow.  I wish we had honored her in life the way death compels us.  I wish we had acknowledged her impact on our lives.  She was everything to the little growing Black girl that I was.  I sang along horribly as she serenaded me from childhood to adolescence and finally drifted away into adulthood.

She was my hero and like everyone else, I used her voice to fuel my dreams.  When that voice stopped booming, I cast her aside and moved on.  I shrugged off her struggles expecting her to overcome.  When it took longer than expected, I shelved my concern, biding my time, looking away, refusing to acknowledge what was attempting to replace my icon.

Then one day she came back to us, scarred, voice lost to her battle for life.  I was happy though I mourned such a beautiful thing now burned away.  That is when I, like everyone else who already had, took her down from her pedestal believing that I had gotten all that I could have from her.

Whitney Houston was no wasted talent.  In her short life, she accomplished more than many of us could dream to achieve many lifetimes over with just her voice.  In our greed, we wanted more and more from this phenom who gave us infinitely more than we could imagine.  She did not stop until she was spent and used up by our insatiable need for constant affirmation.  When she proved to be human like the rest of us, we went searching for another brightness to bask in until that light dimmed as well.

Little did I know that Whitney would one day trump all the naysayers.  She did so by dying.  Her passing has caused us to finally recognize her impact and honor her like we refused to in her last days.

In passing, Whitney Houston taught the ultimate message.  Nothing is forever.  Our heroes are not forever.  Let us honor our heroes often and always, letting them know they have don’t have to keep producing to retain our love.  Let us let them be human.

She gave us word and song.   They are left behind, a shadow of the incomparable voice and woman that sang until she could sing no more for us.   Thank you for this:

I hope life treats you kind
And I hope you have all you’ve dreamed of.
And I wish to you, joy and happiness.
But above all this, I wish you love.

And I will always love you.

May we learn our lesson and honor loved ones, heroes and icons before death and after the music stops.  May we embrace our and others’ humanity.   May your soul rest in perfect peace, Whitney Elizabeth Houston.  You are loved.

Nigeria Strikes Back: A Primer

harmattan, hot, dry wind that blows from the northeast or east in the western Sahara and is strongest in late fall and winter (late November to mid-March). Source: Britannica Online Encyclopedia

It’s New Year’s Day.  You wake but you cannot go to church today as you do every year.  You stay home like you did on Christmas day.  Rightfully so, considering that Boko Haram attacked a church that day and killed almost 40 people.  You decide to brave the outdoors to get some petrol for the generator.  To your surprise, without warning, overnight, fuel prices have more than tripled.  You learn that the government has suddenly revoked the fuel subsidy with no preamble.  You remember them discussing this a while back but there was no timetable.  You’re in the village, miles away from work, visiting family.  In an instant, the money you saved to travel back to the city is not enough, you will need four to five times that amount to pay for transport.  Until you figure that out, you’re stuck and you will probably lose  your job.  You wonder why the government implemented this law when they have not addressed the insecurity that has you afraid of going to church and has your friends grumbling about revenge.  Clearly you are not a priority for your government.  This is the last straw.

As you read this, day 15 of the revocation of the fuel subsidy in Nigeria has passed.  Nigerian citizens concluded the 14th day of protests and 1 week of strike.  Some have lost their lives protesting.  Banks are closed.  Commerce is halted.  Oil and gas exports are threatening to shut down.  Nigeria is at a standstill.   This is the crossroad.

The ongoing protest in Nigeria in response to the sudden removal of the fuel subsidy on New Year’s Day has been dubbed OccupyNigeria by many, although the activism here well predates the movement in the US.  The strike is the largest in recent times with participation from crucial areas in Nigerian commerce.  I have read some pieces from Westerners who, in their analysis, miss the nuances of such a movement and dismiss it as a misguided group of disgruntled seekers of entitlement refusing to let go of a hampering practice.  Not only are such assessments offensive, they are grossly off base.  As someone who is currently in Nigeria and spent the bulk of my life in the US, I believe I have a unique perspective as I watch history unfold.

Let us examine the oil subsidy and the root of Nigerian citizens’ furor.  State-run Nigerian National Petroleum Corporation (NNPC) has the duty of regulating the petroleum industry yet has done little to build or repair existing oil refineries.  In the years that it has been active, that organization has operated far afield from its mandate.  Instead it has served to enrich those who can tap into its corrupt inner workings.

The fuel subsidy was put in place in to provide relief to citizens who have the undue burden of filling in for a failed power system.  The removal of the subsidy has been lauded here and abroad as an opportunity for the Nigerian government to retain funds which it can use to address many of its failings.  Apparently, the faulty power grid, disastrous infrastructure and various other ills are to be solved by removing the one thing the government provided consistently for Nigerian citizens, relief from the burden of high fuel costs.  The subsidy has been the sole relief for citizens who feel that Nigeria provides them with little else although it reportedly exported $59 billion worth of oil in 2010.

At this time, Nigerians are heavily dependent on petrol.  While Nigeria is a major oil producer, it is also a major importer of refined petroleum products with barely any functional refineries in the country.  In essence, Nigeria sells the oil and then has to buy it back in refined form, primarily as petroleum to fuel cars and homes.  There is no escaping petrol usage in Nigeria.  It is a part of daily life here more so than anywhere else.

The removal of the fuel subsidy is a case of putting the cart before the horse.  In discussions about this prospect in 2009 with the government, Nigerian Labour representatives believed that there was an established agreement that a number of key conditions would be met before removal would be considered plausible.  They are:

1. Consistent power supply -  Aside from being infused in everyday products, petrol is necessary for the generators that practically every Nigerian home operates to supplement the shoddy, inconsistent power grid that blacks out daily if not for days or months on end, providing a few hours of power a day at its highest function.  Petrol is a necessity in Nigeria for even the simplest activities even if you don’t own a car.  Everything electricity-based is moved by fuel when the power grid shuts down.  As I type this, the power has gone out and eventually, I will have to turn on the generator to keep my laptop battery going, burning precious, expensive petrol in the process.
2. Repairing and building refineries – Doing so would remove the additional cost of importing petroleum products, removing dependence on outside entities to process an abundant national resource for astronomical savings all around.
3. Infrastructure improvements – Again, providing working railways and repairing and maintaining roads would provide relief to Nigerians and would reduce the overall individual dependence on fuel as they go about their daily lives.
4. Eliminate oil industry corruption – This would result in cost efficiencies in supply and distribution of petroleum products resulting in overall savings that could be passed down to consumers.  Corruption in general costs Nigeria an estimated $1o billion yearly.  Considering that the subsidy costs $8 billion a year to provide, it would be more cost effective to eliminate the graft pervasive in Nigerian government.

It is quite interesting that items a majority of Nigerians wanted to be in place before removal of the subsidy are the very things that the government says it needs to remove the subsidy to address.  How can the government and its people be so misaligned?  Simple.  The government of Nigeria, as demonstrated through policy and action, has no regard for its people.  Its function is primarily the enrichment of those lucky to participate within its confines.  It has very little interest in anything else and has been quite successful in reaching its goal of augmenting politicians’ wealth.

We can go on for some time about the merits of keeping or removing the subsidy.  The Nigerian government may have a valid point in seeking removal that it says will finally free up funds to fuel change for necessary projects to improve the lives of all Nigerians.  I daresay Nigerians, already used to struggle, would not mind participating in something that would result in something as rewarding as stable electricity and infrastructure as well as reasonable fuel prices.  The greatest issue here lies in the government’s management of the entire fuel subsidy removal process.  Their timing and actions, at best, indicate a disconnect from its citizens’ needs and, at worst, an outright disregard and disdain for the very people who put them in power.  Here is why:

1. The fuel subsidy was removed on January 1, 2012 in the middle of people’s holiday celebrations.  During the holiday season, most Nigerians travel back to their home villages from city centers and other places of work to reconnect with their families and communities.  These travelers budgeted for their return to work by putting aside money for transportation or fuel for their cars.  With the announcement–with no warning– of the revoking of the subsidy, many people were left stranded and still are to this day.  The sudden hike in fuel cost outstripped the money they had set aside to return.  Petrol and transportation now cost far more than they anticipated and many could not return to work or had to sell items to compensate for their shortfall.  Removing the subsidy without warning during downtime indicates a government that absolutely could care less about inconveniencing its people.
2. Most importantly, the timing of the removal after horrific attacks by Boko Haram on Christmas day on Christian churches indicates the government is not only disconnected, it is unwilling to address issues of immediate concern to Nigerians.  While it toys with subsidy removal, Nigeria is poised to break out into waves of violence that may result in civil war.  Rather than focus on what is necessary to stave Boko Haram and retaliatory Christian attacks and assure all Nigerians of their security, the impotent Nigerian government continues to keep its eye on those very things that will make it richer.

In 1967, Nigeria entered into the bloodiest war of its history, the Biafra war.  It lasted for thirty months and claimed at least two million lives, a majority of which were children.  After watching their young swim in streams of blood, Nigerians were welcomed with decades of harsh military rule and corruption that taught it that suffering can outstrip war.  Nigerians have  suffered and smiled.  They have quietly tried to get on with their lives.  They have been compliant.  They have tapped into the game.  They have done their best.  They can no longer ignore the rampant hoarding of wealth and resources at their direct expense.

This is the time of the harmattan.  In those winds, a change must come.  I pray that it is a peaceful and enlightened one.  A change is coming.  It is long overdue.

For some more essential reading on the protests, strike and fuel subsidy removal in Nigeria, please read #OccupyNigeria – 7 essential reads about the protests in Nigeria (with additional updates).

Results, Not Resolutions…Again

Every year, at the close of the year, it seems like the world (or maybe just NYC) goes into a frenzy about where to drunkenly herald in the new year and  higher-minded souls dream up resolutions to make the ensuing year great.  And every year, at that time, I laugh in the face of those resolutions and tell the new year to hurry up and come on because we have some work and lots of fun to do.

I do not subscribe to the impotent resolutions culture.  The very action of coming up with a number of lofty things I will and will not do for the coming year neither inspires me nor does it give me what I truly need: RESULTS.

I should get it printed on a t-shirt, “Results, Not Resolutions”.  But before I go there, I’d like to ask you, after waiting deliberately two days into the new year, what of your resolutions at the turn of the previous year?  Do you remember them?  Did you keep them?  And what was the reward?

Resolutions have no steam because they spring from compensating for our failures in the year or years before.  ”This year, I’m finally going to stop (or start) doing that thing that I need to stop (or start) doing…I hope”.  They, like so many other Jedi mindtricks we play on ourselves, convince us that we are somehow in action when all we are really doing is contemplating action but never taking it.

I believe that the secret to phenomenal success and happiness is simply, action–ANY action.  At least any action in the direction of what we say we want.  That action breaks down the inaction that not only robs us of our belief in transformation but validates our lack of trust and belief in ourselves as capable change agents.

This year, I invite you to take a look at your resolutions and ask yourself how will you know they’ve been accomplished.  How about transforming those resolutions into actions that will culminate in satisfying results?  Take those resolutions and make them goals.  Go even farther and make them S.M.A.R.T. (Specific, Measurable, Attainable, Relevant and Timely) goals.   Turning your resolutions into SMART goals gives them a chance of surviving in reality, moving them from the plane of hope onto a plane of actualization.

When you add a “by when,” resolutions emerge from the undefined, unattainable goop of wishful thinking into actual possibility.  Aid yourself in making these goals reality with the exercise of reverse timelining.  Fast forward to the date/moment you have set to achieve the goal and work your way back to the present with events that make each following event inevitable.

For instance, if my goal were to get married in a year, I would visualize myself a year from now getting married.  Then I would look at what would have had to happen the month or a few months before to make that event inevitable.  I would say, the month before, all except a few last-minute wedding preparations were complete.  Then I would go to that event and look at what would make it inevitable.  I’d go back event by event, looking at what would make the next one inevitable.  Somewhere in there would be the proposal and telling the parents.  Before that would be the wonderful vacation together.  Before that would be dating each other exclusively and before that would be narrowing the dating field to three candidates.

I would jump all the way to realizing my goal and work my way back to today.  In the example above, I would look to see what I would have to do this week to create a dating field that I would eventually narrow and create an action to make this inevitable.  That would look like joining an online dating site by Thursday.  When you’re done reverse timelining, you will have a string of actions to take that will lead to the inevitable achievement of your goal or at least a great adventure in learning and adjusting your approach!

If you have questions about this process ask me in the comments, read more about reverse engineering your future here and goal setting here and get started on a phenomenal new year!  This year is set to be a great one.  If you don’t believe me, check out the Chinese zodiac, it’s the year of the Dragon, the most lucky of all years.  There are scores more “signs” of the impending greatness of 2012, so go get results and make your dreams come true this year.  Good luck! You have nothing to lose…except resolutions!

If I Were Something That I Am Not…

Earlier this month, Gene Marks, over at Forbes.com, wrote a “provocative” (read that as “deliberately controversial to garner page views”) piece entitled “If I Were a Poor Black Kid” and set off an internet firestorm of heated responses. In it he notes he is a privileged middle aged white man with none of the hindrances he seeks to help this unknown “kid” overcome.  You can read it yourself here..

I responded on Facebook and light years later, here’s my blog response:

This piece is well-intentioned AND incredibly condescending and insulting. It appeals to the dream of meritocracy that says people are where they are because of “hard work”.

Let me tell you why I’ve had a pretty successful life:

a) I was born to Nigerians for whom education is the Holy Grail,

b) I was a smart and pleasant kid,

c) My public school teachers adored me,

d) Because they loved me, those teachers looked out for me like I was their own child,

e) When they found out about Prep for Prep, they made sure my mom knew about it and I applied,

f) That’s where the challenging work started–during the rigorous admissions process,

g) I got into Prep and completed their tough academic program,

h) I entered an all-girls private school in the 7th grade upon completion, thanks to Prep,

i) School was easy as pie compared to Prep and I did well there (mind you, this school is quite academically challenging but school has NEVER been hard for me–get the picture?),

j) I gained acceptance into an Ivy League college and so forth and so on.

I could go on about what happened in my life but I’d like to point out the following: I got to where I got because of luck and circumstance.  I’m bright, great.  I worked hard at times, but I didn’t do any of the things this individual suggested a child do.  I had the good fortune of strategic opportunities and a supportive community.

I’m not arguing about what it takes to be successful.  I’m interested in why this individual overlooked the classism that rules the fate of so many people in this country regardless of race.  Also, why does he look past the glare of his own privilege that would allow him to write such a thing?

People aren’t poor because they don’t work hard.  Poor people work harder than any set of people I know.  There are a multitude of factors and lost opportunities that leave people stuck in poverty.

The construct of classism is dynamic in its ability to keep people working hard and getting nowhere to the point where some people don’t bother.  And that’s just the tip of the iceberg.

It is only by the Grace of God that I have the parents I have.  I’m Nigerian.  Messing around in school is not an option.  I have the best friends in the world.  I have always been surrounded by people who support me.  THAT is the difference.

No amount of condescension from an out of touch beneficiary of the very skewed system that deprives “Poor Black Kids” of resources and opportunities will galvanize generations of disenfranchised youth of any race.  Instead, I call for the ones that “made it” to reach back to those that making their way.  A conversation and compassion go a long way.  I wonder if Mr. Marks can find that at the library.

As we come to the close of 2011, let us commit to being grateful for who and where we are in life and giving back to those who aren’t quite there.  Happy New Year!

Halfway Mark

So today marked 15 days into my 30 day workout challenge. I’d love to write that it’s been marvelous and I’m a new woman. In reality, the more I workout on my own, the more I know that I’m someone who needs to be around people while I sweat.

Doing my Bikram yoga sessions have become boring and I don’t look forward to them. That’s odd for someone who’s a Bikram junkie. The missing element isn’t just a humid, 105 degree room. It’s the people. I underestimated the power of being in a room with others who are pushing like I am.

That’s odd considering that I work hard to go into my “yoga zone” in class where only I and my reflection in the mirror are all that exist. With no one to tune out, I’m left with just me and no one to stop me if I want to sit out a posture for anything less than exhaustion.

Something’s gotta give. I will continue my challenge of course regardless but I’m committed to breakthroughs. Actually, in spite of the boredom, there have been breakthroughs. I’m able to go deeper in certain asanas and I have a better idea how to improve each and every pose.

The challenge here is that I’m responsible for the energy of this challenge. The breakthroughs come from within. I kindly gave myself a break today which means a double tomorrow, upping the challenge ante–a welcome change. I have 15 more days to improve my practice. That is more than enough to keep me going.

Sometimes You’re the Bug

In life, sometimes you’re the bug and sometimes you’re the windshield. In the 9 days of my 30-day fitness challenge I’ve been bug and windshield interchangeably.

I’ve powered through workouts often but there are some days when I can barely raise my arms to do half moon during my Bikram session. It’s been difficult maintaining integrity during a yoga session where I could just nap and no one would be the wiser. I hang on a weak thread of accountability knowing that I will come here and report to you. I can’t stomach lying so I do the yoga when I really, really don’t want to. Thanks for being my partner in this challenge.

My brother has accompanied me on my hour-long walks and pushup journey. He does not like crunches and can barely make it through the first 2 postures in the Bikram series. I’m looking forward to his first proper Bikram yoga class when we get back to New York.

He’s been supportive and stayed in the room as I finish my sessions every once in a while. His being there pushes me that extra mile to improve and endure.

His presence leads me to difference between being the squashed bug or unshaken windshield: community. I can’t do this without support. Very little would exist in my world without my community of family, friends and unexpected cheerleaders. Again, thank you.

Secret’s Out

So the big open secret of Tessism.com is that I’m a bit addicted to 30-day challenges. It is in that spirit that I’m committing to a 30-day challenge every month or every other month!

I reviewed last year’s November challenge with flashbacks at Random Tessism and came to the realization (again) that reserving challenges to once a year in November is not sufficient. Squeezing personal growth challenges into one month does not do them justice. Many of last year’s daily challenges deserve an entire month, if not lifetime, for their honing.

I have always done 30-day Bikram yoga challenges, taking 30 classes in 30 days. It’s time to apply those challenges to other areas of my life and see if I can incorporate them into my lifestyle.

This month’s challenge is to do 30 days of Bikram yoga, walk an hour every day and complete 100 pushups and crunches a day. I took a break from the flurry of gratitude blogging that was 30 days of Tessism and now I’m off to another challenge.

So far the crunches have been great, the yoga challenging, the walks reflective and the pushups just plain hateful!

My walks have been magical especially when I take them under moonlight. I’ve been listening to music and sermons and they make the hour fly by.

I’m listening to audio of Bikram himself for my daily class and that’s been difficult since I cannot reproduce the same high temperature of the studio. I’m really focusing on improving my discipline and the postures little by little. I see some improvement already!

The crunches are a no-brainer. They are a challenge but I can power my through them…Now the pushups, I despise. The following articled helped me ensure I’m doing the pushups in proper form: Doing Perfect Pushups and Proper Push Up Form: How to do a Push Up. Thanks to them, I’ve made modifications that make the daily hundred manageable.

I started December 2 and will see what December 31 brings. It’s a nice way to power in the new year. I’ll let you know how it goes!