One Day

One day I will love you and that day I dread.

That day I will admit that I have always loved you.  Before I knew you and long after.  And then what?

Until then, let me turn from my impotence.  Let me escape in slick saliva.  Tentative.  Begging for reprieve.  Not there.  Not now.  Not yet.  Please.

What will I lose when I already know?  Were, are, never mine.

Losing you again is nothing new.  It was always with me.

Ecstasy ends when kisses there disappear.  I panic even now as your scent recedes.