…I shouldn’t have left you…
It’s been more than a while since I last blogged about Results, Not Resolutions. In the past few months I’ve been working on those aforementioned results. Often I’ve tried to avoid results and just get by but 2011 will not stand by and tolerate stagnation. So, whether I like it or not, change is happening and ushering me closer to my dreams than expected. I’ll tell you all about that later.
I’m back. I’m blogging. And for those in the know, Tessism’s birthday season is ramping up. As an Aries, I’ve chosen to celebrate my birth during the entirety of my sun sign which is from March 20 to April 20.
Welcome to Tessism’s Birthday Season of Aries! This season is all about leisure and indulgence and the theme is **drum roll** (gather closely now)…A Month of Sunday…Brunches! I’ll tell you a little bit more about it this week. In the meantime, my birthday season is a celebration of and for everyone! Hang tight and enjoy. We’ve only just begun!
Here we are closing in on the last few minutes of the last day of the year. 2010 brought many bittersweet revelations, victories & opportunities. It has been a year of growth and reflection and it’s been as painful as it’s been victorious.
I’ve learned that winning doesn’t always look that way and what you fight valiantly for may not be worth it. Not every time. I’ve learned that though I’m sure an incredible destiny awaits me, even in that hopefulness, I underestimate myself & my future.
One of the greatest achievements of Tessism.com this year, besides launching, was November’s 30 days of challenges. Challenging myself to something everyday was exhilarating and exhausting. I’m very proud that I blogged every day and took on something pretty uncomfortable & life-changing everyday. It was a beautiful experience that left me feeling very accomplished…and drained.
The lesson I learned from that undertaking is that while rapid transformation is possible, I need to pace myself in order to maintain change. I did so much in November that I didn’t want to look at this blog in December. This is my first time writing here since then.
While many of the practices are still in place since the challenge, there are a few areas where I’ve absolutely & unapologetically reverted to my status quo. For instance, I continue with my addiction to lateness & my home regained the clutter I cleared. Change is a muscle that easily atrophies from lack of use, commitment and accountability.
So here I stand at the end of an utterly magical, mind-boggling year and the usual questions remain. Now what? What next? My answer? I say anything and everything.
This time, my focus is mastery. I will take the time master long-lasting transformation. As long I’m here, I say to life, use me up, galvanize me. You’re all that I have. 2011 is all about burning like a comet through life. I look forward to using up every minute boldly, leaving me & my wake unrecognizable and radiating with life & glory. Bring it, 2011! See you on the other side!
Struggle to keep arms
a vise around known,
shattering now like clay pots.
What was here seemed
to be all that
could be had.
Shards of fallow hope do cut.
Yet they are familiar, welcome,
not this formless new,
an unpredictable impending.
Spark burns resistance.
No place for bits and bleeding
where change seizes
territory once withering.
There is another way
through blind leaping.
Sore heart soars.