It’s been a long time…

…I shouldn’t have left you…
It’s been more than a while since I last blogged about Results, Not Resolutions.  In the past few months I’ve been working on those aforementioned results.  Often I’ve tried to avoid results and just get by but 2011 will not stand by and tolerate stagnation.  So, whether I like it or not, change is happening and ushering me closer to my dreams than expected.   I’ll tell you all about that later.

I’m back.  I’m blogging.  And for those in the know, Tessism’s birthday season is ramping up.  As an Aries, I’ve chosen to celebrate my birth during the entirety of my sun sign which is from March 20 to April 20.

Welcome to Tessism’s Birthday Season of Aries!  This season is all about leisure and indulgence and the theme is **drum roll** (gather closely now)…A Month of Sunday…Brunches!  I’ll tell you a little bit more about it this week.  In the meantime, my birthday season is a celebration of and for everyone!  Hang tight and enjoy.  We’ve only just begun!

Challenge Day 30: Score!

I swear I have the 30-day challenge blues.  After pushing day after day, I’m pretty sad that there is no more challenge left and that sucks the wind out of my sails.  Funny since I expected Day 30 to be the day to end all days where I would stand atop the mountain of my achievement and look out with puffed chest congratulating myself for daring the impossible.

I’m sure that I have the blues.  Now that there is no challenge each day, what will I do with myself?  Haha!  Anything and everything. The interesting thing about challenges is that they beget challenges–a sort of challenge-addiction.  Tomorrow or later this week, I’ll ruminate about lessons learned.  In the meantime, let’s get on with our last challenge!

Today’s challenge: Take stock of the last 30 days.  How did you do?  What did you do well?  What did you not do well?  What would you like to continue to work on?  How did it go?  What did you learn?
I’ll be sorting through the lessons learned on this journey for days to come but in the meantime, here are the stats of what I attempted this month:

• I blogged for 30 days straight
• I gave up complaining for 29 days
• I asked for what I really wanted instead of complaining for 28 days
• I practiced being peaceful for 27 days
• I brought gratitude to every situation for 26 days
• I gave up being right for 25 days
• I made sure I did not give up for 24 days
• I began clearing out my home for 23 days
• I committed to finishing things for 22 days
• I found something to celebrate every day for 21 days
• I attempted to write a novel for 20 days
• I meditated at least 3o minutes a day for 19 days
• I infused my actions with passion for 18 days
• I cleared my mind for 17 days
• I took time to reflect for 16 days
• I declared daily affirmations for 15 days
• I practiced exquisite self-care for 14 days
• I burst out laughing every day for 13 days
• I asked for help for 12 days
• I was impeccable with my word for 11 days
• I didn’t take it personal for 10 days
• I assumed nothing for 9 days
• I did my best for 8 days
• I let it go for 7 days
• I forgave for 6 days
• I had compassion for 5 days
• I stopped being late and procrastinating for 4 days
• I went with the flow for 3 days
• I wantonly wanted for 2 days
• And today I took stock of what I did

My closest friends can attest to the wonderful peace I gained in these 30 days as well as the struggle it was to complete these last few days.  I know I couldn’t have done it without them or you.  I also know that I’m not quite done yet.

While I was able to challenge myself to different things each day, I haven’t gained mastery over anything new.  I have an experience of what it is like to live a revolutionary life but I still have work to do.  Each day of these 30 days of challenges revealed so much about myself to me.

The greatest revelation is that this month was a buffet of challenges for me to choose from and work on extensively in the near future.  All the challenges have been interrelated.  They are all pulling for the same transformed, galvanized life.  The next step for me is mastery.

Gratitude: I am grateful for that I could complete this month of challenges when I’ve done nothing like this ever before

On the horizon: More results, lessons and mastery…the journey – to be continued.

This is the way the world endsThis is the way the world endsThis is the way the world endsNot with a bang but a whimper.1

Challenge Day 17: Exquisite Revisited

I remember when I took on practicing an act of exquisite self-care every day back in June.  The idea of taking a stand to do something to really honor myself each day put a tremor in my heart then.  I could barely conceive doing something solely for me every day and I did my best to maintain that it month.  I did not quite make it through all those days and I did not track my experience here (to the chagrin of many who were anticipating the stories and victories after reading the challenge).  My apologies to you all.

Since I challenged myself to finish things this month, I think it’s time to revisit June’s challenge and tell you a little bit about how it went.  But before that, let’s lay out today’s challenge.

Today’s challenge: Practice an extraordinary act of self-care every day.

What this challenge entails is best expressed in what I wrote those months back:

What is exquisite self-care?  What isn’t?

Exquisite self-care calls for me to put myself in front of friends, family, work, love at least once a day and do something that makes me happy, has my heart singing, making me my own beloved…every day.  It involves doing the things I stopped doing for myself because they kept getting in the way of results.  Exquisite self-care isn’t about shirking responsibility or foregoing promises.  It is not being lazy and avoiding life and things.  It isn’t easy.  It is me finally going the distance to be my own hero and save the day for myself.

Here are some of the things I did and learned during my earlier foray into the world of exquisite self-care:

• Because I work from home, the boundaries between work and personal time blur and I made a greater effort to delineate the two
• I requested that my workday start at a particular time and no earlier
• I made sure my workday ended at a set time and did not spill into my personal time
• I made sure that I took care of all my needs before working: showering, eating, taking a moment to myself
• I made sure that the people that I work with were completely taken care of when I sent them out on sales calls.  There was nothing they could desire.  It was an honor to provide for them, exquisitely
• I realized that when I stood up for exquisite self-care for myself, I stood up for the same for others
• Exquisite self-care arises in the strangest places and I need varying levels of gentleness and drive to carry it out each day
• When people know what you stand for, taking care of yourself honorably and unequivocally, people give you space to make that happen and it is as if they are doing the same for themselves when they give you space
• An exquisitely-cared-for-me is a delight to be around
• An exquisitely-cared-for-me needs nothing from anyone–what a breath of fresh air!

Taking time just for me provides infinite benefits for me and others.  Imagine if everyone in the world took a moment each day to do something delightful for themselves for no reason.  Imagine what they would be able to do for others.

It is less daunting this time around as become expert in adding challenge after challenge.  Also since I attempted this already, I know it works and enhances my life.  It’s easier for me to commit to because these last few days of challenges have been a for of exquisite self-care in some way.

For the next 2 weeks, I will do something to honor and delight myself each and every day for no other reason than because I promised myself.  As always, please join me.

Today’s victory: I let a friend who requested space just be.  I didn’t make her wrong or condemn her to being denied my friendship when she reaches out again.  I trust that our friendship will withstand this bump.  Faith flows through me particularly in this situation–very different than I would have been in the past.

Gratitude: I am grateful for the wonderful men I have loved and what I have learned about life and myself from them.  Each one has taught me what I want and need.  Bless them!

On the horizon: That time thing

Exquisite

June’s Challenge: Practice an extraordinary act of self-care every day for 30 days.

This may sound like the basic stuff of pedicures and bubble baths but when I look at the course of my life, self-care—let alone exquisite self-care—is barely an afterthought.  Sometimes I notice the void in my life’s design and shrug off the dissatisfaction as I snuggle deeper into the exhaustion I shroud around my shoulders.

I pride myself in sacrifice and superhuman feats of derring-do often pulled off moments before the train smashes into my life.  I respond solely to emergencies and create them so that I can get things done while being the hero that saved the day for everyone, just not me.

Even now, I panic at the idea of engaging in an extraordinary act of exquisite self-care every day for the month of June.  That is, until I realize that any act of self-care will be extraordinary in my world of putting myself aside to get things done, make things better, be there for you, be a contribution and more and more and more.  The question here is can I do all those things without sacrifice?  Can I exist as the creature I love to be in the world without the depletion and lovelessness of martyrdom?  I have no babies.  Maybe I should stop acting like I do or maybe I should be my own baby?

What is exquisite self-care? What isn’t?

Exquisite self-care calls for me to put myself in front of friends, family, work, love at least once a day and do something that makes me happy, has my heart singing, making me my own beloved…every day.  It involves doing the things I stopped doing for myself because they kept getting in the way of results.  Exquisite self-care isn’t about shirking responsibility or foregoing promises.  It is not being lazy and avoiding life and things.  It isn’t easy.  It is me finally going the distance to be my own hero and save the day for myself.

Day 1

I work from home with a workday has no defined beginning or end.  It often feels endless and involves pushing especially on empty.  While it’s really cool to point out all that I accomplish on an empty gas tank, I decided to switch to a fuel-efficient practice: I made sure I ate, showered and read my Bible before engaging in any business today. I had a lovely moment of ease and calm all about me.  Simple, yes.  Neglected, often.

The next 29 days

I will celebrate each act, big or small, and share them periodically.  For extra credit, I’ll see if I can do some practices every day and see where that gets me.  Bonus: Have someone tell me they love me everyday. Someone already did today.  Wonder about tomorrow.

Each act is a reclaiming of chunks of soul, home, joy I’ve filed away for later, one day, someday.  That is my extraordinary.  What is yours?